I let my mind think about Jesus for a long time today. Anytime I give Him serious thought and time…I feel like writing.
You know, I am almost 30 now, and I think about so many of the great years of my life, so many exciting things happened, so many great people I’ve met, and I would hope…if ever there was a biography written of me (by some very bored individual) that these first 30 years would be included.
I can’t believe I know so little of Jesus’ early life, that we all know so little.
Jesus was overlooked on earth for 30 years. Martin Luther said it best, “Jesus was so low. Satan himself overlooked him”.
Jesus lived a normal life. Jesus had friends move away. Jesus had little kids make fun of his ears. Jesus was probalby not a popular kid. Jesus didn’t pick up carpentry day one. Maybe a girl or too looked Jesus’ way. I wonder if he was good at tag? I wonder if he had a best friend. Maybe no one wanted to hang out with someone who never disobyed mom.
I don’t think he used “his powers”. I don’t think someone would have missed the chance to write about the “flying kid” or “the new and improved hammer Jesus patented”.
Or perhaps he did heal people. He was always saying to people, “Tell no one about this” in the writings we have, maybe back in the day it worked.
I overlook him.
Sad but true.
What a tremendous biography Jesus has. Complete obscurity to the most influential human to ever live. From no-one to legend.
Anonymous asked: hey why do u follow jesus? are you expecting something?
why do I follow Jesus?
its a great question. Thank you for asking me because I haven’t had to verbalize it for quite some time. I follow Him because he’s so right on. The guru on life. I follow him because he fulfilled countless prophecies. When I went to Israel i saw his hometown. I saw the original scroll of Isaiah 53…the one that says, “he was pierced for our transgressions…bruised for our iniquities”.
When I have done my own thing. sinned, lied, cheated, lived promiscuiously…i was empty. when I follow Him…literally when I live like he prescribes. I am happy and joyful.
Following Jesus is somethign to be tasted….not read about. love others today friend…live selflessly for a month…give to people who ask of you…forgive ppl who wrong you…and then answer me a question….
why not?
I saw this band friday night at Rivermont Pizza.
this band was suspect from the beginning. However, as the night went on it became apparent to me that these guys were clueless in the worst way. They were truly out of touch with reality.
the singing was bad. The drumming was bad. The crowd interaction was bad. True enough, you don’t see me up there giving it my best. kudos to them. However, its never pretty to see a group of guys so convinced that they were good, and just so plainly out of touch with the reality of being awful.
I didn’t see one person buy anything. Not one name on the email list. Sales aren’t everything, but they give helpful hints. I really started to pity them a little bit. I started to think…”these poor guys are going to waste their life thinking people love them, and really they are just being stomached…”
My next thought was, “why do i think I’m so different from them”
I’m sure of it. I am upside down about something too. I’m pretty sure its probably bigger than my musical talent (which i have none of…unless you count memorizing songs from youtube on the piano) .
I actually spent alot of the weekend thinking about this.
I heard somewhere that “the things you think you know….that you really don’t…is the largest category of information in the world.” I am really arrogant. There is so much I think I know…and really…just flying upside down.
I do know the one guy who does know…not even kidding…its Jesus. He knows. He’s not upside down either.
Anonymous asked: Hi jdgardner, I somehow stumbled over your blog and read your thoughts about "about true love". I enjoyed reading it, wow, thanks for sharing. God bless & greetings from Austria (probably not the country you're thinking about right now, no Kangaroos here :) -- Christine
Thanks Christine, and your welcome. It was a great joy to share. Never been to Austria…you must get the Kangaroo thing alot eh…haha.
Thanks for your encouragement
I had originally sat down a few weeks ago…to write about the ridiculous May 21st predictions of the “end” being upon us…
I believe this age will soon be at an end. Furthermore, I believe in a day where everything…will be made right.
I have been reading C.S. Lewis’ space trilogy. The hero Dr. Ransome was also concerned for the ”end”…to which the King of Pelendrea replied…
“End?…who spoke of an end…it will be but the beginning…the corrections of a false start”- Tor in Perelandrea
I thought so much about this in the days leading up to the 21st. I thought a lot about my life thus far (perhaps too much). I have a tendency to navel gaze or to “walk alongside myself” as Lewis says.
I can say with full confidence that I am grateful for the day I was just given, and for the next one I earnestly hope for. Its a funny thing to wait and to hope. So much of life seems to be about balancing the two.
I thought alot about the prophecies the Bible claims (and not crazy Harry’s). I thought about the days of wrath that are to come. Thoughts came crashing into my head as I did….thoughts like…”shouldn’t I be glad that the world will be set right”. I began to think of the justice of God. No matter how I slice it I see
grace and justice.
mercy and pardon.
death and suffering.
Hope and despair.
Death and Life.
Is it possible that a loving, good God that chooses to display His terrible power….actually knows what He’s doing?
It simply must be the case. Otherwise why stop punishing the sin-filled, evil world we live in with sin-filled evil people who do wrong, done wrong, and will do wrong…
I am beginning to think the tornadoes, earthquakes, eruptions, the prophecies of Daniel/Revelation…will give rise to the question…
is there a God and eternity…and will He know me and love me?
God loves this world filled with billions of people who hate Him, despise Him, and have shut off their minds, hearts, and spirits from Him, and damned themselves to life without Him.
A furious love, a white-hot, die for you kind of love….would do anything to get your attention. Those days are here. The last effort is coming before the great beginning.
“Time is Short Eternity is Long. It is the time of decision. ” -Bonhoeffer
love it
Colossians 2: 13-14
“And even though you were dead in your transgressions and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, he nevertheless made you alive with Him, having forgiven all your transgressions.”
“He has destroyed what was against us, a certificate of indebtedness expressed in decrees opposed to us. He has taken it away by nailing it to the cross.”
What’s underlined is what stood out to me today.
I began to think about sin today…specifically my sin and its effect on my life.
Perhaps it is the greatest thing in all the world that there isn’t some very obvious physical consequence for sin. Perhaps not. All I know is I am glad we are not like Pinocchio. I would have gained serious yardage on my nose if that was the case that for every lie my nose grew. What if are ears grew for every prideful thought? Or if our legs lengthened for every selfish motive? Or if our breath grew foul smelling for every envious action? Or if flies followed us more for everytime we sinned against our authorities or parents?
Instead I find a deeper truth to sin. That where sin increased…grace did all the more- Paul. I find that mercy and goodness have followed me, and not the flies.
I think sin does affect our physical body, but I haven’t found it to dramatically increase in shameful ways like noses growing and teeth falling out or anything. There have been studies to show how prayer positively affects our body. I am sure the opposite is true. Evil affects our body. The sin of our ancestors had natural consequences of fear, shame, guilt, and worst of all death. These three invisible killers/consequences are sufficient subpenalties of sin…and then, of course, the penalty of death is by far the worst…so final…and we all die because of sin now. Its stain touches all the world.
Then there is this unsettling truth of Colossians in God’s word.
That we had no chance. We were born dead…like a stillborn child. Born dead into this world….the trespasses of those who went before us…like a debt that could never be paid….passed onto us while still in the womb. I believe I have felt that tension my whole life. I have felt the realness of that…of being born dead into sin. I ( like you ) have the natural ability to sin. I have felt its draw like a magnet…it has been so natural to sin…so easy. It makes perfect sense to me that I was born into that state of being….of being utterly dead and deprived. I can sin without thinking, without trying, and it’s almost effortless. Its easy to do…so easy. I don’t find it rebellious at all…or challenging.
Righteousness….thats a whole nother story. Righteousness is the only rebellion left in this world. So VERY hard.
Especially the way I have tried to attain it. My own efforts of attaining holiness were pointless always…but I am such a little kid in my thinking. I tried it anyways. I tried to be good enough, pure enough, nice enough….and it doesn’t work. I can’t do it. The truth of this verse in Colossians never hit home really.
I was born dead in my transgressions. Handed a certificate of my debt in the womb. An insurmountable sum of my deeds…the sins I have done against God. The price impossible to pay. O the injustice you would think. How could he? How could a holy God do that? Perhaps those questions are legit…but perhaps they are so shortsighted. If God would have stopped there…He would be unjust…but He didn’t.
How could he pass on a debt this size to an unborn. It doesn’t even say I was alive….I was born dead.
This is the gospel. Jesus…took my sins….took the certificate from the dead babe (me)…the massive list of all I have done wrong…and He nailed it to the cross and forgave my debt against Him. He did all this….before I was born…knowing I would be born dead into sin.
When I think about sin in my life, or times I have been sinful. Times I have been outright evil, and didn’t even care till after the fact…I can’t believe it…I really can’t. I know what He did for me…and I still do wrong. I have beat myself up constantly throughout my life for these things I have done against God and others. All my journals speak to this fact…of feeling sorry. I still have fear, guilt, and shame at times when I sin…we all do…and so much of the time I try to make it up to God…like I would a friend I’d wronged.
And then sometimes I see things more clear…like today…I saw in my mind my massive list of sins handed to me….it was too much to carry…so long and so awkward to hold…I could see the cross and in my mind I saw the truth that I have tried so often to nail that list up there myself.
When I heard these verses today…its what I saw.
I saw myself trying to nail this massive parchment up on the cross with this scrawny lil nail. I realized…it was just an illusion. I could never have even held that list…or nailed it to a cross…or had a hammer big enough…or nail strong enough. I am completely helpless without the king of kings to do it for me. I have merely to thank Him…because it is already done for me. He did it. How do you thank someone for a feat like that? What’s appropriate?
Reminds me of when Superman saves the world or something….I mean …what do we give him in return? Anythng feels so lame. “Gee thanks Superman…guess we almost all died just then”- metropolis resident
It’s just the craziest thought in the world…that God loves me. Despite anythign I could do, and before I could do anything….the craziest thought in the world. Its so improbable, so unlikely, so unbelievable….that I find myself believing it with all my heart and deciding its the most extravagantly, crazy story in all the earth…so crazy it must be true.
I went to Israel for 4 days and 3 nights…and saw a great many things…but perhaps my favorite place…was where Jesus spoke upon the mystery of the Kingdom of God…on a little mountainside above the Sea of Galilee.
The sea and the day were stunningly, beautiful. The sea is 13 miles long, and from the mountainside you could see across all of it. You could see the towns surrounding the sea…Capernaum, Tiberius, etc…and its just the wildest thing to see places who’s history dates back 2000 years…
The Mountainside was the exact same place that Jesus quoted his famous sermon…known as the Beatitudes in Matthew 5-7. I read them aloud to myself in the garden up on the mountainside…in the shade. I tried to imagine what it would be like…if I had been there…and just could picture myself sitting down and listening to the greatest sermon ever uttered from the Messiah himself. I started to think he probably had people really close to him…because the wind would make it hard to hear with the constant rustle of the palm trees.
When Jesus finished telling manking the secrets to the kingdom of God…when the sermon was over…like every preacher…he left and went on to the next thing.In chapter 8 of Matthew you can read how he went down from there to Capernaum. For some reason, it greatly impacted me…this little part of him going down to Capernaum.
Literally this means….well….that Jesus finished talking to the crowds and walked down the hill to Capernaum…which is like 1 mile away. For some reason this thought was just simply wonderful to me…just a special moment…where I could see it in my mind..Jesus finishing his sermon…and was leaving everyone for the city….maybe to grab something to eat.
On his way…great crowds followed him…he was stopped…and this part really nailed me…
The man that came to him was a leper. An Unclean person…someone who was rejected by society and an outsider. I can just see it in my mind…the hopelessness of this man and then the hope in his eyes as he approached Jesus…lacking the “right” words he simply said…”if you are willing…you could make me clean”
“i am willing be clean” -Jesus
I love that Jesus did this miracle…I could see it with my eyes….the likely stretch of earth where he healed the man…seeing where it had to have taken place… it really just touched my heart. To see how Jesus always heals those who come desperately to him.
Tonight I met a new brother in the Lord…lets call him Ahjan.
In truth, i have met him for the third time. What sets this night apart is that tonight I heard the story of how he…a local on the island…came to believe. This happens to be the same Turkish man who had his testimony shown at the event at the university, in a short film in all Turkish.
So I asked him…if I could hear it…but in English :) He told me, ” It is a very long story actually…”
and then he began to tell me.
The story begins with him actually not seeking God at all. He was an atheist for 30 years or so. He began to think, for no real reason he said, just that God must exist. ( Where does thoughts like this come from…I am pretty sure that’s God). He said, “I thought to myself…there are so many Muslims in the world…they must know something of God”. So he went to Mosque and did his prayers and things like this. He began to read the Koran, and said that, “It didn’t match up with what he was hearing at Mosque…that it seemed filled with darkness”.
He then began to be open to other things. He had heard of Jesus, but did not know anyone. He then had a lady come up to him…a believer the last few years that we know…she approached him and asked him if he believed…he said he was interested…she asked him if he had any pains or any sickness in his body…he said that he had back pain…he was prayed for, and the next day he said…He was healed.
The healing sparked his interest in Jesus. He was told of a man who has been one of the lone believers on this island for 30 years. The man challenged him to seek after Jesus, and invited him to be prayed for. My new friend said that he was fine with that…that he wanted to seek God but did not know how…so the Christians prayed for him….he told me…”I felt very good…but the coolest thing happened after.”
He said (with a stunned face), ” I didn’t tell anyone I had gone to church…and my boss called me the next day…and said…I had a terrible dream about you last night…where were you yesterday.”
He said in the dream…”you were covered in dark tattoos…over your whole body was this darkness…(which is a bad sign in Islam…tattoos are evil) and he said that it was a very bad omen…but said at the end of the dream…he had a robe of solid white on.”
The boss interpreted the dream as bad…for hiding his shameful tattoos. My new friend believes the dream was meant to confirm to him…that God’s love was covering him in all his shame and sin. This past March…he was baptized in the sea.
He has been a believer for exactly 6 months. We will be spending time together a lot more often. The Lord is so good, and we really needed someone who spoke Turkish fluently and knew the culture better than us, and we will pray together now, and have some adventures together while we are here…Praise the Lord!
I met a guy yesterday…lets call him Jemal.
We have heard accounts during our time here…of people who have had dreams. One girl who told a worker here, “your prayers have been answered” and said that she had a dream so great, but she was told in the dream not to tell anyone about it. I have only ever heard second hand stories though to this point. Chris and I began to sit down and talk with two of our brothers yesterday ( one a fellow worker and the other a new believer), and as were enjoying a very nice honey melon and 7 up during a hot, windy day…we began to chat.
Jemal began to tell us how he came to believe. He was speaking in Turkish…knowing very little English himself…and his friend interpreted. Jemal didn’t say this with incredible dramatics, but simply said this as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
He was asleep, and began to dream very clearly. He dreamed he was in a building. He dreamed about a man speaking with water flowing out of his mouth. The dream stirred up something in him, and so Jemal went in search of this man and found him.
Not long after he became a believer himself. However, because of his belief his family is very upset. Threatening to force him to marry. Threatening to burn his Bible and any religious books. They say they will force him to go to Mosque. They will cut him off financially and relationally if he continues to persist in continuing this lifestyle…that’s whats real…that’s the facts.
It really just broke my heart, and I remembered the words of Jesus…the prophetic words…”I did not come to bring peace, but a sword…I have come to turn a child against his father….a man’s enemies will be the member of his own household.”
Jemal stopped going to church for fear of all these consequences. However, there he was…searching the scriptures for answers with a friend. Unsure of what God would have him do. I was unable to relate at all, but wished that I could. You could just see him wrestling…could he forsake his family…for this church family?
Would you do it?
These are real issues throughout the world.
We must continue to pray. We must pray that the Church becomes a place that is closer than any human family. We must pray that the downtrodden and overwhelmed and rejected find love in the Church. We must love one another, and help our brothers and sisters in need.
The Lord answered our prayers though! Glory to Him who answers us when we call out to Him! He is pursuing the people…even in their sleep!!
